I am 78
I have completed 78 and entered 79th year. It's big news for me as my parents and their parents died at this age. They died due to ageing followed by long sicknesses. I have ideas about their eating habits. My father ate at varying times due to the nature of his job. He cycled long miles to meet the time schedule and to supervise staff under him. I overheard his replies to questions put to him about lunches and snacks,' I ate vegetable chops and breads packed inside'. Mother retorted,' This is the reason for indigestion and upset stomach'. In the next breath she uttered,' Why didn't you get some for kids? You think for self only.' ' The quality was bad and bound to harm kids. Of course next time I will bring some for you, father replied with a mischievous smile on his lips signalling mother's weakness for food. His love spectrum kept widening, having many kids one after another never showed remorse about having entertainment and its outcome. Neither father bothers how children will be treated in limited income. Again it was mother's responsibility to feed all with cooking in greater quantity.
These quips remained in memory which guided me to keep an eye on the eating habits of my 8 years younger wife. Sometimes I become strict when she gets angry. My aim is not to be nursing a sick wife for days. This is arduous but generally defines the scale of love, set by guardians.
Happiness vs Worrisome
It's a true picture of the time when one can find Happy go Lucky living with Worried go sorry. Men or women can be of different modes as individuals. But the combo always worked. The flavour of conjugal life runs so. If a combination is formed with one type, say happy go lucky, the result will be a mess. Children will become problematic, quarreling types, antisocial, loners, frustrated and trouble makers. Further may be easily guessed. The other extreme may also happen if they get influenced by one worried go sorry then child develops independently away from parents. The child may excel and make marks. So one can pick up a life partner after understanding the above behaviour trait.
One may question whether the combo giving trouble could get modified. Yes, it can happen just like in the case of kids. If they come in close contact of opposite types, this will influence them to modify the trend and life may ease. I have observed this in many couples who came in contact. This also happened when worrisome came in close contact happy go lucky distanced from family to keep own behaviour and returned back to normal relationship when some other close contact pointed out the reason of unhappiness. These variables are noticed by the sensitive partner and don't permit the second partner to play games, which in the long run permit extramarital relations.
Before I retired
Staying busy in work keeps one away from opposing types of behavior and individuals keep enjoying it. I am basically a Happy go lucky type and was able to associate easily with friends and colleagues of this type. There used to be lesser talking in the household and I picked up only circumstances giving pleasure. This suppressed revelation of Worrisome and made all go well. Lesser engagement dispersed ungly faces of actions. I can say I performed and achieved satisfactory career progress and achievement.
After retirement differing attitudes and behavior started appearing. Happy go lucky was getting suppressed and Worrisome started appearing frequently. I scheduled myself to avoid confrontation. This increased often and hot discussions and ugly confrontations were visible. Efforts to turn/modify behavior were short lived. Perhaps worry was deeply embedded and not easily sidelined. Then compromises were necessary and Happy go lucky was sidelined and availed company of outsider with similar trait. Balancing acts were many times painful and strenuous. In life one has to accept this. The Worst situation was when I fell in the company of Worrisome. It turned suffocating and very unpleasant. Often one of us bursted out on small and petty failures in service and mannerism. Long discourse emitted Worrisome look superior and commanding and Happy go lucky got pushed under carpet. What an interesting game went on in life?
Pandemic days arrived
It gave shock and fear from day one and was dramatically introduced by the government. We played in the hands of authorities;clapped and lighted candles without knowing that we’re going to be pushed in doomsday. And lockdown happened. We were confined in the house and watched the workers return to kilometres away homes many with children. We realised how poor our country is and false claims clamouring over successes of individuals opened up. Perhaps we were in grips of fascism. Our selfishness came to fore, and we closed our eyes. Habitually having full time helping hands was now missing fearing infection being brought by any one coming inside home. Royal treatment of wife vanished. I was a grounded person for all years of working despite being in a coveted position,and continued to act confidently.
No helping hands forced us to pick up broom and dusting jobs. I decided to try my untrained hands on making breakfast for two. Hostel days prompted me to select bread and butter. Sandwich makers gave ideas to make unconventional sandwiches never heard before. I also tried making South Indian Idli, dosa, uttapam and chutneys never eaten before. It was all in stride and forceful acceptance gave relief. Time passed with severe strains in the beginning but later absorbed.
Food habits and requirements changed and pleasantly I noticed economics and savings. Wife was informed who gave no importance. Lunch and dinner were her agenda where taste was important. I have never been choosy about food or taste and she was strict about these two. Breakfast for her was just needed while lunch and dinner were fancy for her. Now I was enjoying food prepared by my wife after years and not the cook making her own taste. I don’t know how many have thought about this.
This continued for three months and then maid was hired for cleaning of home and washing utensils. Masks were must and we too put it on our faces as she worked. All windows and doors were kept open to prevent viruses entering outside and not remaining inside. No correct information was available. We all probed in darkness and days normalised. Wife and myself got trimmed and laziness reduced. We became active higher age youngsters and days passed. We were looking for news about vaccines for relief. Always hopeful that it will come early.
Keeping Healthy
Morning walks stopped and I strolled the longest possible distance within home arranging furniture. Religiously I walked eight thousand steps using a mobile app. I suggested to many but never checked its use.
Walking within four walls became boring. Buying vegetables,milk and many items of snacks was a necessity. Against all advice I started walking in streets where minimum people were seen. It was a silent melancholy which I enjoyed. Being alone is not virtuous, but no alternative could be availed. Silently it worked and healthy functioning of body organs combined with limited food intake resulted in weight loss, I found after stepping on the weighing machine. Long time desire was accomplished and I was further encouraged. It also worked on my better half when she strolled inside the hall keeping herself better shaped.
Social Connectivity
I live in a housing complex which consists of 28 households. There are permanent owners and also moving bachelors and groups. This has made life very lonesome. People don’t mix and they mainly mingle with friends and families residing in other parts of cities having more than 10 million population, which also includes the floating population coming to the city for earning, jobs, education and entertainment . We mix with them on occasions of festivals and different celebrations.
Pandemic stopped all this and faces bore symptoms of boredom and frustration. An unpleasant shadow could be observed by a sensitive observer. One of the serious victims was my wife confined in living space and coming out from a lively setting of longtime friends. I took the decision to move out and deserved the charge being made against me. It was my responsibility to get her out of this stressful situation at least partially, as full recovery was only possible if not worked out by self.
This was never her game right after getting married as a late teenager. Parents do commit such blunders when newlyweds couldn’t have full physical pleasure. But nothing happened, no use crying over spilt milk.
One day thought came to my mind. I invited all residents to meet one evening in ground floor parking by pasting invitation on the notice board. The response was more than expected. I enquired how they were managing confinement imposed by pandemic. There were many suggestions and all opened up. Doing housework was everyone’s routine. I suggested trying cooking of favourite dishes which could be learned from Facebook or other sites available on phone. Raising plants and flowers in pots was good engagement while residing in flats. They happily accepted and gave many suggestions. Primary objective of talking to each other was essentially the objective which was achieved. The session lasted for more than two hours and all followed the advice of using masks during assembly. Some forgot but rushed to get it from home. Youngsters wanted more sessions which followed subsequently at intervals of a fortnight. This continued for two months and left itt after regular interactions started in lobbies and outside in open space. Some close friendships developed and stressful time diminished.
Vaccination follows
It was a great day when seniors were given vaccines. An expression of satisfaction could be seen on faces and discussion started on after effects of vaccination. All of us quipped and shared laughter lost for long. Life is gradually returning to normalcy but disciplining by pandemic has a positive effect. People follow disciplined life and more rest by seniors is a precious gift. This will help safety from viruses but more enhanced longevity with better health conditions. At 78 I am feeling blessed and so be all while working people continue to fulfill their responsibilities.
